Are You Living Your Life On Purpose?

Why, day in and day out, do you do the things that you do?

Because you have to? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’ve had the same routine for years and you’re used to it?

If you feel like your life is something that just happens to you, it’s time to reassess how you’re spending your time. Financial security, stability, and creature comforts are all important. But feeling that your life has purpose will become more and more critical to your emotional and physical well-being as you age — especially when you finally retire.

A healthy sense of purpose.

Research into the area of human well-being draws a distinction between happiness (experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain) and the feelings of meaning and self-worth that we derive from our lives (1).

Too often, we focus on the former and neglect the latter. This is why the sheen wears off so quickly from a big-ticket purchase. Buying a new car or big-screen TV gives us a quick hit of pleasure. But sooner rather than later, new things become just more things that we’ve accumulated. Once that initial happiness evaporates, we find there’s no additional layer – no purpose – to improve our well-being.

Researchers have also found that people who feel like their lives have purpose live longer and show decreased risk of cardiovascular problems (2). And as you age and prepare for retirement, living with purpose helps to limit your risk of cognitive problems, such as Alzheimer’s (3).

The purpose of work and family.

Most of us tie purpose to the things that we spend the majority of our time doing: working and raising our families. Again, it’s important to draw a distinction between simple happiness and purpose.

A doctor who has to deal with ill people and mortality might not consider her job “happy” all the time. But helping people gives her that critical sense of purpose that rounds out her feelings of well-being.

Taking care of children will, at times, make even the most patient parents want to pull their own hair out. But feelings of love, connection, and responsibility make both happy family vacations and frustrating afternoons in timeout purposeful.

If you feel like your life is lacking purpose, start by looking for misalignment in these two areas. Is your job “just a job” that pays the bills? How could you pivot to a career that uses your unique gifts and skills to create purpose? Or are you working so hard that you’re missing key family events, which are also critical to your sense of purpose? Are there ways to improve your work-life balance?

It’s never too late to start living.

Many people believe that living and giving generously with their time, talents, and/or finances is a luxury they can’t afford, especially once children, mortgage payments, and college tuition enter the picture. However, research indicates that senior citizens frequently cite “dying with their music still in them” as one of the biggest areas of regret when they look back on their lives, meaning, chances they didn’t take, ideas they never pursued, or opportunities they watched pass by. It’s not money they’re regretting, it’s the sense of purpose they missed out on that would have improved their Return on Life.

Of course, not everybody can have that “perfect” job. But even in those situations, think of it not so much about the work you do, but “who you bring” to the work you do. Find ways to bring purpose to even the most mundane jobs and how that work is helping others.

And it’s never to late to find that purpose. Even seniors can discover new passions that will give their golden years purpose if they approach retirement with an active, enthusiastic mindset.

If you’re having trouble getting started, try asking yourself, “Why do I get out of bed in the morning?”

Is it to take care of your family? If so, then consider planning a family vacation for the summer. Coaching your child’s youth sports team. Turning dinner time into a group cooking activity. Or setting a regular monthly date night with your spouse.

If you find purpose in helping those in need, consider finding a volunteer position for a few hours a week.

Do you like to express yourself? Then perhaps start a blog or a digital photography website that you can work on in your free time. Turn that spare bedroom into a craft room.

And if you think your purpose is simply to make more money? Well, then maybe you need to start asking yourself better questions. Remember, money is a means, not an end.

We encourage you to come in and talk to us so that we can start a new dialogue about how your financial plan can help you get the best, most purposeful life possible with the money you have.

Sources:

Should I Sacrifice My Retirement to Support My Children?

Mike Desepoli, Heritage

Most parents will say that they want to help their children as much as they can and give them every advantage. But what if “every advantage” comes at the expense of the parents’ retirement savings and investments?

According to a survey by NerdWallet, 80% of parents are covering or have covered an adult child’s expenses after the child turned 18. That generosity can cost parents up to $227,000 of their retirement savings.*

Can you afford to press pause?

Some parents who are still supporting adult children rationalize the expense by telling themselves they’re “just pausing” their retirement plan. This is especially common of parents who want to help with a major life transition, like college tuition, a first home, a first car, or a wedding.

However, while your adult child can apply for scholarships, sign a lease, or take out a mortgage, there are no “scholarships” for retirement. If supporting an adult child causes you to slip below your baseline budgetary needs or savings goals, it can be difficult to catch up.

Even smaller expenses add up in the long run. You may think you’re “only” giving your young adult $30 per month as they continue to piggyback on a family cell phone plan. But if that $30 would have gone into an IRA, 401(K), or investment account, you’re not just losing $30 every month – you’re losing out on potential capital gains and compounding interest that can add up to thousands of precious retirement dollars.

Check their budget.

If you do decide to help an adult child, it’s a good idea to take steps to ensure your helping doesn’t turn into a lifestyle subsidy.

Depending on the nature of your financial support, it might make sense to get a good understanding of your child’s spending patterns. Chances are they don’t have a budget you could look at but ask them what their typical expenses are each month. You have every right to make sure that your child’s financial need isn’t the result of unnecessary creature comforts, lavish vacations, etc.

By getting a sense for their spending, you might be able to help your child find ways to economize, which could help limit your own expenses.

Set terms.

Another way to make sure your child doesn’t remain reliant on you is to set terms. Much like asking to understand your child’s spending, hammering out an agreement strikes some parents as intrusive, or even cruel. But it’s important that you and your child both understand each other’s expectations going forward.

For starters, are you giving your child a gift or a loan?

If it’s a gift, exactly how will the money be used? Are you helping your child solve a problem for good, or will this gift only lead to more problems, and more pressure on your retirement savings? Again, asking for specifics isn’t mean, it’s responsible giving.

If it’s a loan, what are the terms? Are you charging interest? When will your child pay you back? Maybe establishing a monthly payment plan as part of the child’s budget is a good idea.

Don’t be afraid to say no.

Saying no to your children never feels good, not even when they’re grown. But sometimes that’s the best thing you can do as a parent.

If you look at your child’s budget and the intended use of your money and decide a loan or gift is not in your child’s best interest, or could potentially damage your retirement plan, then saying no is an option.

There are more ways to help a child than writing a check. Maybe you have a connection who could help your child find a better job. Offer to go with your child to the bank and help with loan applications. Do some online research into scholarship and government grant opportunities that your child can take advantage of.

Many of our clients introduce their adult children to our life-centered planning team. Our advisors can be an excellent resource to help your child move towards financial independence and start planning for their own future.

Remember: your child has his or her entire working life to figure out how to balance their checkbook. But your retirement will be here much sooner than you think. Think long and hard about providing your child with a short-term fix if it’s going to set yourself up for long-term financial stress.

*Source: https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/study-lifetime-cost-supporting-adult-children/

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