Spending: What to Do When You and Your Spouse are NOT on the Same Page?

Spending: What to Do When You and Your Spouse are NOT on the Same Page?

Mike Desepoli, Heritage

Most married couples take a “divide and conquer” approach to household tasks and chores. One spouse might handle weekly shopping, the other might handle garbage and recycling. Or one spouse might handle laundry and cleaning, the other might handle yardwork and maintenance. One spouse might drive the kids to school, the other might handle pickup and extracurricular activities.

But household spending and budgeting is one of those responsibilities that’s best tackled together. Money issues are one of the biggest sources of marital tension, and a leading factor in divorces. Here are five ways that you and your spouse can make sure you agree on your household spending, avoid surprises, and maximize the Return on Life ™ your money provides.

Have an open and honest discussion.

Many couples assume their attitudes about money are aligned. Then one day, the roof needs an emergency repair that taps a savings account, or someone walks in the door with an unexpected splurge purchase (or worse yet, hides it!).

Stressful situations are not the ideal time for a couple to discover significant differences in spending habits. Sit down with your spouse and have a thorough review of your finances, and your monthly budget. Find compromises that will allow you to save for the future while still enjoying your present.

Understand the total household cash flow.

In many households, one spouse handles all the bill payments. This can lead to misunderstandings, and arguments, about where the money goes every month.

It is important for both spouses to understand how much the household spends every month, and how your bills get paid. If you’re the one who’s usually in charge of bills, take an hour to walk your spouse through your process. Show him or her which bills are paid electronically, which are paid by check, the monthly amounts and due dates, etc. This won’t just help both spouses understand the monthly cash flow, it will ensure that both spouses can handle household finances in the event of an emergency.

Be transparent about all assets and liabilities.

Newly married couples might still have banking or credit accounts that are only in the original account holder’s name. The other spouse might not find out about these accounts until a credit card is maxed out, or a checking account is overdrawn.

Again, the less stressful your reason for talking to your spouse, the more positive the outcome will be. Financial secrets tend to come out at the worst times, compounding stress, hurt feelings, and strain on your budget.

Your spouse should be a cosigner and beneficiary on all of your accounts, and vice-versa. If one of those accounts carries a large liability, get out in front of the problem and talk about how to start paying it down. Discuss the ramifications of combining any large individual assets with a tax professional or your financial advisor.

Agree on a budget.

If one spouse is responsible for budgeting and bill pay, that person often becomes The One Who Has to Say “No.” No eating out this week. No weekend trip to the waterpark,  no new cell phones, and certainly no new clothes.

No fun!

Nobody likes being in that position, especially if you’re saying “No” to your children. Eventually, you or your spouse will resent being The One Who Has to Say “No.” You should both understand the household’s monthly cash flow and agree on how your money is – and isn’t – spent.

Get help

Mint.com is just one of the many apps and web services that help households set and maintain a budget. If you’re a small business owner, Intuit offers a line of bookkeeping and tax prep solutions to fit any needs. Automating select bill payments and regular contributions to retirement and savings accounts can also help to clarify your monthly budgeting picture.

Finally, if there’s a spending gap between you and your spouse that seems impossible to bridge, we can be an excellent resource. It’s important to us that we understand where clients’ attitudes about money come from. We also strive to understand how they’ve developed these attitudes, and how they can diverge between couples. Facilitating this dialogue is key to making sure both people have the best life possible with the money they have…and we can help do that for you.

For more info on spending tips, check out this video: 1 simple tip to help curb the urge to spurge!

Savings: Does Your Desire to Save Match Your Reality?

Savings: Does Your Desire to Save Match Your Reality?

Mike Desepoli, Heritage Financial Advisory Group

“The only money that’s really yours is the money you spend.

Everything else goes to somebody else.”

-Teddy Chafolious

That piggy bank we remember from childhood wasn’t just a place to store our birthday money and spare change: it was a lesson, a way our parents encouraged us to get into the habit of saving. Many parents even go so far as to deposit half of any monetary gifts their children receive directly into a savings account, just to drive the point home. Adults who took that lesson to heart might set up automatic deposits into long-term savings or retirement accounts from their paychecks every month – a modern mechanism for implementing this age-old lesson.

But the quote from Teddy Chafolious raises an important point: What are we saving FOR? Many new investors come to their financial advisors with a number in mind: “I want to save $1 million before I retire.” There’s even something of a fad among millennials who work as hard as they can, save as much as they can, and try to retire before age 50.

But why? After all, “you can’t take it with you.”

It’s important to have financial goals, and committing to a regular savings plan is good first step towards achieving them. But if you treat your long-term financial planning as just a series of targets to hit, or numbers you have to drive up as much as possible, your return on investment is going to be a lot higher than your Return on Life – the feelings of happiness and fulfillment that your financial planning should provide you.

How much are Americans saving?

According to the US Bureau of Economic Analysis, Americans today are saving a lot less than they have in years past. Personal savings in the United States averaged 8.29 percent from 1959 until 2017. The rate for 2017 is hovering around 3 percent. Experts tie this historically low savings rate to increased household spending, which continues to outpace wage increases, and high levels of revolving debt, like credit cards.

Figures like these drive many people to the opposite end of the spectrum: they save as much as they possibly can, especially if they’re nearing retirement.

Finding balance.

We tend to think that the person saving more is doing a better job of managing his or her money than the person saving too little. But neither extreme is going to maximize your Return on Life. Spend too much enjoying the now, and you might end up having to work much longer than you want to – maybe even all the way through retirement. Save too much too early, and you and your family might miss out on the experiences that you deserve to enjoy with your hard-earned money: big family vacations, a new home, creature comforts, entertainment and culture that will enrich all of your lives.

Worse, new retirees who have spent their lives stuck in “savings mode” often have trouble transitioning to the reward mentality that should provide for a meaningful retirement. These retirees worry so much about running out of money that they often neglect their own wants and needs, to their emotional and physical detriment.

Reality check.

So how do you find that balance between enjoying today and preparing for tomorrow?

First, ask yourself if your rate of savings is in line with your reality. Are you saving so much that you’re not enjoying life as much as you could be? Or are you hovering around that 3 percent savings figure, telling yourself that you’re putting enough money away when you know, deep down, that you’re not?

Next, make an appointment with your Advisor to talk about your financial goals, and your vision for a dream retirement. Work together to find that saving/spending balance that’s going to align your savings with your reality, and hopefully, your goals and dreams. Find that sweet spot, and your money won’t just be numbers on a balance sheet. It will be yours. Don’t have an advisor? Here is a helpful article to show you what to look for.

Why We Love Money (And You Should, Too!)

WHY WE LOVE MONEY (AND YOU SHOULD, TOO!)

Mike Desepoli, Heritage

“Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it is better to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.”
We often end up listening to the endless arguments upon whether to be materialistic or not. While spiritually we should not really become materialistic because world’s greatest joys are not hidden in materialistic items at the same time living in a practical world around people, you cannot help but be materialistic after all without money you cannot go anywhere (think about your cab driver).

Here is our take on whether to love money or not and to what extent?

MONEY BUYS YOU THINGS

Off course world’s greatest joys are hidden in the things that money cannot buy but think of the dress that you always wanted to buy, think of the vacation that is too expensive but you really wish to experience it, think of the joy which is beheld in a double crest cheesy pizza. These things are not possible without money; do you still believe that money cannot buy joy?

MONEY MOTIVATES

Won’t you be joyous to see your bank balance hitting the sky? Well, isn’t the whole point of finding a job, earning well, having a well-settled life somehow revolves around earning money too. It is true that job satisfaction is primary to be thought upon but don’t you think that often money motivates you to do more or to do better? Come on who would refuse to put some extra efforts for monetary benefits offered?

MONEY BRINGS PRESTIGE

Whether you agree or disagree, the society has agreed upon that fact that money brings in prestige. While respect has to be earned and there are no two ways about it but your lifestyle adds on to this respect as well. A king sized lifestyle gets a king sized treatment and what is a king without treasure? Are you getting our point?

THE DESIRES

We are humans and that is why our desires are unreasonably endless. However, have you ever noticed that each desire of yours stops at money? Whether you wish to learn a newer skill or pack your bags for travelling. Everything begins and ends with the amount that your bank balance reads. The unfulfilled desires bring anxiety and with no money in your hand, you are going to pile up in anxiety only.

UNDENIABLE FACTOR

No matter how much you hate minting money so matter how much denial do you possess for money the reality is that money forms an integral and undeniable element of life. Your stand in the society, your extracurricular activities, your lifestyle, your efficiency of work and so on is determined by money.

We agree that greed can dig your grave but, a complete denial of money is yet another form of digging your graves too. While it is vital to be contented with what you have, there is no harm in desiring for a little extra either.

GOT A PIECE OF ADVICE ON MONEY? WE WOULD LOVE TO GET YOUR FEEDBACKS IN COMMENTS

Do you love money too? Check out #AskTheAdvisor 41: 3 Things Successful Investors NEVER Do!